I’m annoyed at how people assume that I don’t like to do or like something. Like, get out of here. You don’t freakin’ know, don’t assume. And I’m a hypocrite for saying so because everyone in the whole universe does it. It’s inevitable considering everyone has/does things that they don’t always exercise fully and announce to the world. Sad part is that it’s mostly applicable to best friends and family. And I really can’t blame them and I fully understand that. It doesn’t make me any less annoyed though, and I’m so irritated with myself for being like this.
I don’t even feel like I can fully convey this thought. It doesn’t make sense when it’s written down — but it doesn’t make sense in my head either…but it does. YA FEEL ME?
I could go on for ages, but I’ll try to make this short.
I feel like so many of the people around me (friends, essentially) are facing problems. Friends, relationships…all that teenage rage. It seems like it hit everyone remotely around the same period of time too. It makes me realize how much drama goes on in my life = none. Which is good, but boring. But then it lets me reach out to some of them which I love doing. I love being able to be there for someone — whether they want me to listen, give them my words of wisdom (with a huge ass cup of real talk and a dash of unicorn bullshiiet froo froo to ease the sore heart and aching mind), or anything else they need. I don’t care if we’re best friends, friends, acquaintances, or strangers. I’ll always be there for you. It’s a nice feeling — the feeling of (hopefully) helping someone, I mean. Even if it’s just the minute tug of emotion to get them into a better, more hopeful state of mind. I feel awesome in an awesome way. And I hope that they feel just a bit more awesome too.
Are you pissed at me, hate me, angry at me? Because you know what, I can’t freakin’ tell. Maybe it’s none, but there’s an awkwardness that I feel that may only be one sided. I don’t think you’re mad. I mean, I asked you cleverly and you replied with a no. There’s something in the air. I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s there. I guess I deserve it from all our past encounters that I feel crappy for. I’m left hanging. Talk to me, will you? You’re giving me the worst feelings ever.
I need to get to bed…so much cleaning ahead of me.